Master 
Super Moderator
Registration Date: 06-27-2006
Posts: 93
Mistress Or Master Or Slave: Master
Location: USA
Level: 34 [?]
Experience: 637,336
Next Level: 677,567
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Dear Kat,
Well, yesterday I finally told Scott. He took my announcement pretty well. I know he was surprised, but not as much because I am attracted to other women as because I actually came out and said it. I know he's probably suspected my desires for a while now even though I haven't verbalized them. It's just always seemed so natural for me to admire beautiful women.
But my mother put a stop to that line of thought for a long time. Sex was a taboo subject in my house growing up. It was something that was never talked about or allowed into the house in any way. You've met her once or twice, you know how she is. Even harmless fluff like "3's Company" was banned from our TV because of the childish innuendo. And an only child like me is easy to watch.
Did I ever tell you about the time when I was about nine or 10 and my mom caught me looking in the women's underwear section of the Sears catalog? The ladies in the pictures looked so nice and I imagined they would take off their bulky bras and let me see more. But when my mother found me sitting on the floor behind my bed, staring at half-dressed women and unconsciously rubbing my crotch, she went nuts. I learned quickly that little girls do not look at other girls like that and certainly never touch themselves there. So my mother's sexual hang-ups transmitted to me, and throughout middle school and most of high school I was too repressed to do much more than a little necking with a boy.
But I still liked to look at girls. My mother kept me out of PE so I wouldn't have to shower in school (that's why I was in the band). That pissed me off, because I always wondered what my friends looked like naked. My friend Dee was Puerto Rican and dark and gorgeous. Once at a band car wash, she wore short jeans shorts that exposed the very edge of her ass where it rose from her upper thighs. I kept washing tires and the bottoms of car doors when she was next to me to look up her legs and see what I could see. Though it was hard to be sure, I never saw any panties, and the thought that she wasn't wearing any made me tingle. That night I made myself come three times in the shower.
But I had still never really seen another girl's body until I was in high school. While looking for an old hat for a Halloween costume deep in my dad's side of the closet, I found a copy of Playboy. I've never told anyone this so please keep your mouth shut!!
There was a spread on California girls with only one picture per model but the variety was incredible. Tan girls, creamy white girls, busty girls, flat-chested girls, redheads, brunettes, blondes; you name it, they were in there. I pawed through that issue like a horny teenage boy, staring at their luscious bodies and getting damn horny myself. One picture attracted me the most: a very athletic-looking, tan, black-haired latina lying in a bubble bath. The bubbles were just low enough that her large breasts and washboard stomach were completely exposed and her trimmed pussy was just peeking out. Her knees were bent out of the water and slightly separated and she wore a simmering hot expression on her face, her tongue lazily moistening her upper lip. I couldn't restrain myself.
I sat right there on the floor of my parent's bedroom and masturbated while staring at her amazing body. Right before I came, lust overcame good sense and I kneeled right over the face of the woman in the picture, wanting her to see my pussy up close as I jammed my fingers in and out. I came harder than I ever had but was brought down quickly when I looked down and saw that the pages of the magazine were drenched. I couldn't put it back in its hiding place so I mashed it down to the bottom of the kitchen garbage bin and took out the trash. My father never said anything about it. I suppose he thought my mother found it and threw it away.
But the truth is that it's because of you that I'm lusting after women again. Yes, Kat, you. Let me explain. When I got serious with Brent my senior year in high school, I actually did it for the first time. It was wonderful and the reality of great sex with a man pushed my dreams of other women to the back burner. Though I still found other girls attractive, my fantasy lovers went from about 30% males to 95%, mostly Brent (you remember how hot he was -- mrrreor!). But you know how that ended - his fantasy lovers were 100% female and unfortunately a lot of them weren't just fantasies.
Remember, by then we had met and were roommates at UCF. While I was still moping around, you did one thing that turned me back on to women. You probably don't even know what it is or even remember the event, but I'll tell you about it.
One rainy Sunday afternoon we were just hanging out in the apartment lazing around watching TV and trying to study. You were wearing a long sweatshirt and, as always, I enjoyed looking at your legs, but I wasn't paying too much attention. You went to get some munchies from the kitchen and when you came back you couldn't find your pen. That's when it happened: you looked between the cushions of our old coach. You were facing directly away from me and as I watched, you bent way over from the waist. Your sweatshirt rose to the small of your back, revealing your lovely behind and more covered only by a pair of tiny black thong panties. I can picture the sight now in my mind's eye and it still sends shivers down my spine. You stayed like that for what seemed like forever digging under the cushions while my eyes traveled up your long legs and focused on the area beneath your tight ass and between and above your tone thighs to where the thin strip of your thong had slipped out of place and a beautiful pouty cunny lip was exposed to my lecherous gaze.
Don't be embarrassed; I know you didn't do it on purpose (or did you???). I thought my heart would burst out of my chest. I just touched my own crotch and came immediately, and before you even got up I ran to my room to change my soaked panties.
Ever since then, babe, I've secretly lusted after you. More than once when we were roomies I peeked into the bathroom while you showered to get a glimpse of your naked bod behind through those damn cluttered shower curtains. Remember the time we were a little drunk at a club and I reached up your dress and squeezed your ass? I was only half joking. And I'm embarrassed to admit it, but once when I was making dinner for us while feeling very naughty, I pulled down my jeans while you were talking on the phone in the next room and ran a cucumber all over my slit until it was wet, then sliced it up and put it in the salad. I died a little death every time you took a bite.
Even since I met Scott and gotten engaged I haven't forgotten about you. More than once I dreamt of kissing you, and more. One of my favorite fantasies is running up behind you when you were bent over, moving your thong out of the way, and sliding my finger in and out of your slit until your wetness flows down my hand.
I only wish I could really tell you how I feel. I wish I was sure you wouldn't be disgusted with me, that my mother's sexual shame didn't still hold me back. Someday I will get up the nerve. But until then, I'll just keep writing to you in my diary. *sigh*
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Butterfly Chapter 2
